Relationships don’t always go smoothly. People can start to move away from each other. Sometimes, fights cause even more distance between the two. However, a broken relationship is not necessarily the end. Quite a few couples come out with a stronger bond after their relationship has been tested seriously. Here you will find ways of rebuilding such a relationship that also make it stronger than before.
Is It Possible to Fix a Broken Relationship?
Simply put, a broken relationship can be fixed if the two partners are willing to do the work.
Simply put, a couple can repair their broken relationship if both are ready to put in the effort. The key ingredients for success are honest communication, a readiness to change, and enough patience for the healing process. It takes time to repair a relationship. The two of you must recognize the mistakes you’ve made, take your share of the blame, and be willing to change your behavior.
The moment people who break up stop struggling, and those who marry realize it’s time, marks a turning point. The key difference between couples who last and those who do not is consistent effort. Small daily choices matter more than grand gestures. Choose connection over being right. Choose understanding over winning arguments.
Pro Tip: Select three specific behaviors you are willing to change. Before your next serious conversation, share this list with your partner.
How Do You Begin the Process of Repairing a Broken Relationship?
Feeling overwhelmed is a common reaction to the idea of repairing a relationship. The good news is that you are not expected to fix everything in one go. These first steps help heal at a deeper level.
Stop Blaming Each Other
Finger-pointing only makes things worse. Instead of telling your partner all the things they have done wrong, focus on how you feel.
It is better to say, “I am hurt when plans are changed at the last minute,” rather than “You never keep your promises.” This one simple act totally changes the tone of the discussion. Your partner will put down their defense. Instead, they will become listenery.
Blame builds walls. Vulnerabilityleads to bridges.
Create a Safe Space for Honest Talk
Make sure you are relaxed. Turn off your cell phones. Face each other while sitting.
Express to your partner that you are interested in their perspective. Give them your attention without judging or interrupting, even in an antagonistic situation. Genuine listening is not only about understanding their words but also their emotions and nonverbal language. Do not prepare your answer while your partner is still talking.
A comfortable environment is one in which your partner can express their negative feelings without fear of attack. If necessary, listen aand accept whatever you are being told, regardless of how hurtful it might be.
Take Ownership of Your Mistakes
Resolving issues with your partner requires first admitting your wrongs. Maybe you forgot to reserve time for date nights. Quite possibly, you have shouted much more than you have praised.
Express your understanding of the problemunambiguously:
- “I was wrong to have ignored your texts when I was angry.”
- “Instead of assuming you were fine, I should have asked how your day was going.”
- “I admit that I broke your trust and take full responsibility for it.”
Making a genuine apology means not giving reasons. It means no “but” statements. It means just taking responsibility with no excuses.
Pro Tip: Never apologize with the word “but” in it. The word “but” is always masking the real reason behind the excuse.
How Can Communication Fix a Broken Relationship?
Communication has the power to either elevate or ruin relationships. A couple’s level of intimacy depends entirely on the nature of their conversations.
1. Ask Questions Instead of Making Assumptions
Sometimes, we think we understand why our partner behaves the way they do. But the truth is that we are rarely right in such situations.
The secret to understanding is in asking the question. “What has happened that made you feel this way?” is a good example of a question it is better to ask than to assume you understand the person’s motives. Assumptions are bound to lead to made-up problems. On the other hand, effective communication through questions helps uncover the real problems the couple can work through together.
The internal world of your partner is more complicated than you think. Get curious about it.
2. Share Your Needs Clearly
Since your partner is not a mind reader, you have to let them know your needs.
Here is a request you can act on: “I would like you to stay with me for one evening a week without any distractions.” However, when someone complains, “You are never around,” it only leads to frustration.
Be quite detailed. Be straightforward. Be gentle with your words.
3. Schedule Regular Check-Ins
Give yourselves 20 min per week to discuss the general state of your relationship. Moreover, talk about what works and what needs improvement.
These brief talks make it less likely that people will lose their tempers later on. Relationship checkups are similar to car maintenance. After all, you change your car’s oil regularly, so why not check your relationship, too?
Doing things regularly is better than doing them once in a while, but for a longer time. Weekly small talks outperform monthly big arguments.
Pro Tip: Try the ‘compliment sandwich’ technique during check-ins. Say something positive about what your partner has done, talk about the area of improvement, and finally, thank them.
What Role Does Forgiveness Play in Healing a Broken Relationship?
One of the steps towards healing a broken relationship is forgiving. Forgiveness not only sets you free from resentment; it also breaks down one of the walls between the two of you.
It is neither an oblivion of what has been done nor a condoning of the act. It is about making a decision that the past pain will not dictate your future as a couple.
This may not be enough once. You might need to forgive a few times over as you work on a broken relationship. Your partner may revert to the old ways. You might relive the anger of the past, even after a period when you thought you were through with it.
Here is what true forgiveness looks like. Refrain from digging up the past in new fights. Trust your partner when they say they’ve changed. Unload your emotional baggage instead of covering it up. Recognize that it’s not a straight road to recovery.
On some days, you will be able to make the hurt feel totally gone. On the other days, the pain will come washing over you. Both are quite natural.
Pro Tip: Whenever you are overwhelmed with old grudges, don’t panic; just write them first in your secret diary before revealing them. You are then allowed to choose ways forward based on whether those grievances need talking or accepting.
Should You Seek Professional Help for a Broken Relationship?
Couples therapy should not be considered a last resort. It is a smart tool that helps you communicate better.
A therapist points out the patterns that are invisible to the couple. They also give the couple the proper communication skills.
Additionally, they serve as a mediator whose only role is to give equal airtime to both sides.
Therapy is a great solution when:
- You have been through several rounds of the same quarrel with no
- result.
- You don’t know what to do anymore because you feel stuck
- There has been a breach of trust, and rebuilding it requires the assistance of a therapist.
- One or both partners are suffering from mental health issues that are negatively impacting the relationship.
Too many couples let it get too late before they seek help. Getting help earlier makes things less complicated between partners. If you keep waiting until just about to separate, the work involved will be overwhelming.
Compare therapy to the gym. You certainly don’t start working out only when you’re unable to walk. Instead, you go there to exercise regularly while you are still able, to stay fit.
Pro Tip: Interview with three different therapists before you finally decide. Getting the therapist right is way more important than checking the credentials. You need someone both partners are comfortable with when it comes to opening up.
How Long Does It Take To Fix a Broken Relationship?
Some minor problems can be resolved within a few weeks; however, serious breaches of trust may take a couple of years to fully heal.
Progress happens in cycles, not in a straight line. There will be days when you both feel the relationship completely right again. But on some days, you may doubt if it is possible to fix it. Both good and bad days are normal in the process.
Forget about the big breakthrough moment. Rather, focus on making little improvements every day. Were you both able to handle a disagreement this week better than last month? Give yourselves a pat on the back.
Working on a broken relationship can be a very lonely and confusing journey, even with the support of a third party. Some couples manage to get back quickly. Others may require a longer time and support from professionals.
Pro Tip: Use a relationship journal and write down small wins. When you feel down, it will be very helpful to look back and see all the positive changes you have made together.
What If Only One Person Wants To Fix the Relationship?
Saving a relationship should be a joint effort. A relationship will thrive only when both people are committed and want it to work out.
If your partner is adamant about not trying, you should take the situation very seriously and ask yourself whether you are really willing to be in that relationship. You can only control yourself. Be explicit about your needs and desires in order to stay in the relationship. Set a limit to those behaviors that you will never tolerate. Carry on with your self-development plan notwithstanding their decisions.
Recognize that sometimes taking leave is the best option. The truth is that if someone does not want to meet you halfway, then loving him/her means allowing him/her to go.”
You deserve someone who truly loves you and responds to you. Someone who genuinely cares about your feelings and is ready to work on his/her shortcomings for the sake of the relationship.
One person carrying all the weight breaks relationships faster than the original problems did.
Pro Tip: You can decide how long you will tolerate your partner’s behavior. Most of the time, a three- to six-month timer is sufficient for this purpose. At that point, if your partner continues to show no effort to change, you have your answer regarding their level of commitmention.
Conclusion
Repairing a broken relationship means both partners need to be honest with themselves and their partner, make genuine apologies, and be fully committed to the process.
You can’t change everyone right away. When you choose to be connected rather than at odds with each other, you will see a change that lasts a lifetime.
Why not try one thing today? In the first place, silently listen to them. Apologize sincerely. Ask your partner what he/she wants. These are definitely the steps that count toward reestablishing what was deemed irreparable and, most times, leading to something even stronger than before.
Is your relationship ready for a change? At Guided Legacy Coaching, through my signature marriage program, I offer couples the wonderful opportunity to create the marriage of their dreams. You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s collaborate and bring your marriage to life in a way that is filled with love and connection. Schedule your consultation today!